Long live the car crash hearts.

I realized I don't talk to people. Like sure I talk to people. But I mean like about my life; my feelings. I just can't talk to people. I'm afraid they will think I"m crazy or weird. I'm afraid they won't get me. I spent all sophomore year trying to prefect my personality so people wouldn't think I was weird anymore. I became someone people wanted to be friends with. But I didn't realize I shouln't have cared. What is the point of all this? Like there are soo many times where I'm just sitting by myself and I want to cry. I want to cry because I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I'm afraid I'm not smart enough, I'm afraid I'm going to lose everyone I care about, I'm afraid I'm just all around not good enough. I don't let people in. People think I let them in, but they are not in. I pretend I'm okay. And it's not even that I hate my life, I don't at all. I love living and I love my friends, family, and dogs. But what else am I? I'm just so confused about everything.