Dear Kevin Gil Bialobrzeski,
I'm picking you as my first love only because you are the guy who cares about me most, excluding my family members. I don't really know if I am truly in love you. It's hard to know if I am because I have never gotten the chance to be with you. But I know that I love you. I love you as my best friend. I love you as a person I could always count on. Sometimes, I doubt you would be there for me if I really needed you. But then I think about our friendship, and realize we are genuinely friends. I get jealous of all your friends and your girlfriend because I want you to care about me the most. I know that's selfish since I don't care about you the most but I can't help it. I want to know that not talking to me makes you miss me. I want to know that you actually want to see me and hang out. You hurt me in the past, and I'm hurt because of you right now. Both times you didn't mean to. I'm sorry I take the hurt out on our friendship; out on you. I know you feel bad but I don't want your pity. I don't need you to feel guilty for not having romantice feelings about me. I need you to keep trying to be my friend because when it comes down to it; I need you. I'm miserable without your friendship. And that overpowers any misery I have about you not liking me. Because I know that even if you don't like like me, you love me as a friend. That is way more important. I've been silly. This isn't fair to you. I'm going to start being a better friend to you. I know you care about me as a person and that's all that matters. Look forward to a text tomorrow. I owe you an apology.
I love you, Kev.
Always,
Audrey
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